"Cesspool on the Potomac" (L. Simpson, circa 1991)

After kicking it Manhattan style for over a week, we decided to mix things up with a day trip to Washington DC. Home of a crack smoking ex-mayor, a black dude in a white house and the loosingest team in the history of fake basketball, the Washington Generals. One day those poor dopey bastards will object to the opposition using a ladder… One day.

Harlem Globetrotters Vs. Washington Generals: File Photo

So we bought tickets for a 4 and half hour bus ride leaving New York around 7am, which meant walking through the pouring rain to the subway around 6am before we headed off to see 5 states in 1 day; New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland and Virginia.

On the way, I was stoked to see Baltimore from the distance. I’m sure the Bunk and McNulty were in there somewhere. They’re good Poh-leece.

Baltimore at 65 MPH

Washington DC has similar beginnings to Canberra, yet somehow ended up not shit. Like Canberra, it was pre-planned and meticulously designed from one end of the city to the other. Unlike Canberra, it’s really interesting to look at.

We started at Union Station, then hit the trusty Hop On / Hop Off tourist busses to cram as many sights into our 6 hour window as possible.

Union Station: External

Union Station: Internal

It was an awesome day with so many iconic buildings and monuments. A second day would have made it better so we could actually go inside some of the museums and other cool looking buildings.  But it was still awesome to just see these iconic places in person, even just from the outside.

Capital Building

The Funny Ol' Game is Spreading

Korean War Memorial

Lincoln's Gaff

Loz and Linc

Smithsonian Castle

White Woman, Whiter Houe

But the real highlight was saved for the end of the day. Sure, the Whitehouse was cool to see in person. Yes, Lincoln’s statue is impressive. And sure, the Washington Monument is even more falic than Nelson’s Column on top of 2 Death Stars.  We can all agree the Americans decided the best way to commemorate their first president was with a humungous concrete dong, that's not up for debate.

"Nelson's Death Balls": Artist's Impression

But none of these compared to my Double Beef and Cheese Burrito from Taco Bell. This thing blew my mind and I’m scared it’s a dragon I’ll be chasing for the rest of my life.

Sweet Lady Taco, 89 cents a Hit